Happy Birthday My Courageous Little HERO!!!!

Avarie's birthday is tomorrow or today depending on when you read this. She came into this world on September 14, 2004. It was my least fun delivery! It was all natural and way too fast. The Midwife barely walked in the room as she was crowning. We were scheduled to be induced the following morning, she was the only one of my kids to go past their due dates, so I had never been that pregnant and I was not enjoying it. She must have known I was going to make her come into this world, so in typical Avarie style she decided "fine, if your going to make me, I'll do it myself" and then she came with a vengeance. I started contractions about 11:45 pm and she was born at 1:23 am. It is not fun to fully dilate that fast, lets just leave it at that. She was a wonderful baby. I was so much more relaxed as a mom because she was my 3rd, I just remember sitting and loving her soooo much. I can't say she was the best toddler though. I barely made it through those years with her. From as early as she could, she asserted her independence. No one was going to make that child do anything she didn't want to do. She was my most stubborn and strong willed child and even after having number 4 who is currently going through a VERY trying toddler stage right now, I still look back and know that Avarie was my most difficult toddler. She was just so strong willed.
Last year we celebrated her birthday with her limping from what we thought was Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. Her ankles were very soar. About 2 weeks later we were checked into the hospital trying to find out what was wrong, because JRA diagnosis just wasn't fitting any more. She was in too much pain and her spleen was enlarged. This whole last year has been a journey and a battle that I desperately want to put past us, but yet desperately want to cling too. Its a strange feeling. When we were going through this last year I was really OK most of the time. I was too busy learning and fighting this horrible disease to feel it. Now as life is starting to settle down, I find myself more reflective and much more emotional about everything. I have a feeling I'm going to get even more emotional about it all as time goes on, but I guess that's part of the healing process.
This Birthday as Avarie prepares to turn 5, she is walking again! She is currently walking about 25-50% of the time. It is Amazing to watch! She is Amazing!
There were times this last year that I honestly didn't think we would make it to her 5Th birthday. Now here we are and things are going great for her.
Avarie still has that strong spirit, although to be honest a lot of it has been tamed. She can still throw a pretty good fit, but there is something about her strength that has been broken. It makes me sad to see that, but to be honest there is a part of me happy to have that tamed just a little. This last year has definitely made her grow up a lot faster then a normal 4 year old. People are always so surprised to find out she is only 4! I think its because of all she has been through, it has made her seem older.
Some of you may remember months ago about Avarie being chosen to be a Community Hero for the Children's Cancer Association. Today was the unveiling of the Wall of Courage that has Avarie and 19 other kids on it. It has a huge picture of her and her story next to her picture for everyone to see. The wall will travel around OR and WA to help promote Cancer Awareness. I am so proud of her!
She had a great time at the event. It was pirate themed and there were pirates singing and playing music. Avarie danced and played and saw some good friends from Emanuel that we hadn't seen in a while. One of the other little boys that was chosen for the Wall, Caden, was also there. He is 1 and has had a very rare and aggressive form of brain cancer. He was there and doing GREAT!! It was so good to see these sweet little kids that have gone through so much, out playing and having fun and HEALTHY!
Their was also face painting, not just normal face painting, awesome spray painting. The kids had fun, but Avarie didn't like the feel of them spraying that on her face, so they just gave her a small butterfly on her arm. Of course Craig got in on the action and had them paint him a Devil! I know he is so odd!
Avarie's chemo pal, Maggie was also there. She came to support Avarie. She has been such a great chemo pal for Avarie. We've only had her for a few months, but she has been awesome! She is a volunteer for Children's Cancer Association. Her job is to just come and play with Avarie and try to make her Dr appointments and hospital stays a little better. She definitely does that! We are really happy to have her.
At the end of the day all of the community hero kids and their families gathered on the street and each child got to release a dove. It was way too packed on the street and we didn't actually get to see Avarie release her first dove, but Addisen helped her. I was a little upset at missing it, because it was such a great way to let go of this last year and move forward, clean and hopefully carefree. Luckily, they actually had a lot of doves to release, so Avarie, Craig and I got to release another one together. That was my favorite moment of the day.
My birthday wish for Avarie this year is to just be a happy, carefree 5 year old. I just want her to play and enjoy life. She has missed out on too much happiness already. This year is going to be a much better year for her and all of us. Happy Birthday My Little Hero!