Just waiting things out

I came back up to the hospital this morning to find my baby girl happy to see me. She is doing about the same as last week. Right now we are just waiting things out and trying to stay on top of all of the infections and soar spots. She had another x-ray of her chest and abdomin last night but those continue to look about the same. Of course this is all second hand info I am getting, Craig was the one up here and sometimes like I said before I don't get all the exact details, but he sure has come a long long way. He takes such great care of her when he is here, I don't even worry anymore. It is so nice to be able to be home with my other kids and actually be almost completely mentally there with them.
Avarie continues to run fevers. They seem to be looking for reasons for them, but I just assume they are from her pnuemonia. I am looking forward to talking with the Dr tomorrow to get back in the loop of everything that is going on and ask my questions.
On a really positive note, we were able to get a van. Craigs oldest brother had a 98 Toyota Sienna. They said they held a family council and decided as a family that this is something they could do for us. They could give us their van. Craig and I have been blown away by their love and generosity. Its not like they have another great car to replace it with, they just simply drove it up here and turned over the keys to us. I have always had a hard time accepting help, and I had expected this to be right in that same category, but I think they were truly inspired of the lord because it is one of the first times in my life I have been able to accept something and just say thank you. I am always grateful for the help I receive whether asked for or not, but inside I am always feeling horrible that I have imposed on someone. I hate imposing on people, I will go completely out of my way to try and not impose. I am trying to work on that. I am trying to learn to accept the help when I need it and learn to ask for it. The asking part is still a soar spot for me, but I am trying. I am just so grateful to have such wonderful family and friends that truly help ease my burdens. There is no way I could be here for my daughter the way that I am able to if some of my burdens where not lifted by others. I am truly blessed to have such an amazing support structure. One of the nurses (Pam, shes one of my favorites) told me today that some of the kids don't have any family here taking care of them. They just push the nurse button when they need something, but sometimes that means they have to sit in a wet diaper for a while, or wait for some other need because the nurses are with another patient and they don't have someone there to attend to them. She said that those kids always take longer to heal because they don't have a someone there to love them and care for them. It makes me sad to think about any kid in this hallway going through anything similiar to what we are going through and that they may be sitting there all alone. I asked the nurse if there are volunteers to sit with them, and she said occasionally, but they really just want mom or dad. I am so grateful to everyone for their love and support that allows me to be here with my baby and allows my husband to be with our other children as much as we are.
I am still working on getting that video of Avarie, it just may take me a couple of days to get a good one. I want to post her doing something not just laying in her bed.